My Mooish Sunday: Asian Wedding Fayre and Israeli Dancing (Part 1 of 2)

Hello my lovelies.
So, I had an interesting weekend. Last Sunday my mum and I went into the city to attend a wedding fayre for Asian (Pakistani, Indian etc..) brides. We then met up with my maid of honour and drove back into the burbs to a synagogue to meet my future mother in law for an Israeli dancing class.
Talk about Mooish... days like this give me such a thrill and remind me of how grateful I am that we all just get along in some glittering, freeze-frame interfaith Waltons-esque tableau spectacular.

So, my mum picked me up from my house in the morning and we drove over to a swanky hotel. I didn't know quite what to expect if I'm honest; our family seems to have retreated a little from the big Asian wedding/society event scene since my father passed away.
We were greeted by two very thin, big haired, women who slapped on our wristbands and ushered us inside one of the hotel function rooms. Suddenly our eyes were flooded by a barrage of glitz and sparkles. So many shiny things!
The first floor comprised of bright, vibrant wedding attire and what looked like a giant chandelier shop. This, in fact, was a cake stand company. Now, personally, I don't understand the appeal of displaying your wedding cake on a mirror with a load of shiny crap dangling off it but, with Asian folks, the general rule is the glitzier the better.
Next, we were lead down a small flight of stairs to the sub-level. The doors flung open to reveal an enormous room filled with stalls, a giant runway and a veritable smorgasbord of exotic food and sweets.. and lots of very smiley brown people.
But best of all......... I walk towards a large stall in the centre of the room and, there, staring back at me, quietly and calmly as ever

is a fucking barn owl.

Needless to say, I was somewhat intrigued. I walked over and discovered this delightful, and freakishly  placid creature was actually part of a wedding package. You can have a barn owl fly down the aisle and deliver your wedding rings during the ceremony. I stood there for ages gaping at this thing, mouth wide open as the lovely gentleman at the stall's words about gold and silver packages washed over me. I just kept repeating the word "OWL" over and over whilst pointing like a simpleton. I remember something about £300  and someone handing me this flyer:

My very sensible mother then bid good day to the nice man and ushered me away from the owl and towards the other stalls.

Seeing as we have booked most of the elements of the wedding already, it was a little pointless talking to wedding planners (even though one of them said she could have Bob enter the ceremony mounted on a horse like a prince) but the novelty value of it all was fantastic. I loved that there were these magical brown women here who understood all the elements of what I would want to bring to the wedding, whilst still wearing a white dress and observing all the western / Jewish traditions.

Which brings me to the fashion show.... I never really imagined myself with any of the traditional garb or headgear until I saw these ladies:


and then this bird....

And I suddenly thought... I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A CLEOPATRA BEJEWELLED PRINCESS TOO. And why the hell not? These women look fantastic and their jewellery is so ornate and beautiful. I don't think my white dress and all that bling would work together though... not unless I wanted to look like a rapper. So maybe a costume change in the evening might be the way forward.

 Speaking of which, I want to put Bob in this:

Just look at those curly shoes. Somehow I think he may fight me on this but I've heard those shoes really help keep your balance on the horse so it's really about structural integrity when you think about it..... or something I didn't just make up so Bob can look like a Jewish Aladdin.

So, all in all, it was a fantastic morning and, thanks to the Asian wedding fayre, I am now incorporating the following in the wedding:

  • Potential costume change for me/ very shiny jewellery in the evening
  • Dancers to perform briefly to drums / bhangra music
  • Two ladies to provide henna (mehndi) tattoos for guests throughout the evening 
  • Curly shoes to scare Bob on the wedding day

So, I am a total penis and posted this by accident without finishing it. There's a whole section coming up about happy clappy Jews and an afternoon of Israeli dancing.. and accidently being punched in the tit.

You're riveted aren't you? I can tell.

My Life As An Imposter

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  1. There are actually people who have real live owls in their weddings?! I think that's quite possibly one of the most amazing things I've ever heard.

    1. It was incredible. I would worry though... what if it got spooked and descended upon the newly weds and just mauled them?

    2. I'd be more worried about it pooping on people's heads. And expensive outfits.

  2. Hi! I nominated you to the Liebster Award! You can read more here

    1. Oh my! Why thank you very much... I had a look at your post and am a little unclear bout which questions I need to answer :/
      Great blog by the way x


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