An Excercise in Patience: A real-time post... sort of

Hello my lovelies.
So, my wedding video has just arrived in the mail.

Needless to say, I am sat on my couch, staring at the DVDs, squeaking uncontrollably and counting the hours until Bob returns from work.

Now, I know my posts have been a little wedding-centric as of late but I have a vagina... and I just got married. You're lucky I haven't been posting videos of myself swaddled in loo roll with a pillowcase on my head running at you and screaming I'M A BEAUTIFUL FREAKING PRINCESS at the top of my lungs. Don't worry, I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon and I'll be back to my sardonic, has-an-opinion-on-absolutely-everything self before you know it.

Anyway, back to the DVDs. I am sat here, on one of my very rare days off, trying to pretend I don't want to tear the box open and watch the whole thing 23947294792374237 times for the rest of the day. Bob and I promised to watch the wedding video together, which would be fine if I was at work today... but sitting here and waiting. Staring at that smart, leather-bound case with our names on................... it mocks me so.

Bob just called me on his lunch break and wants to watch the video tomorrow evening. TOMORROW EVENING?? I can't take this any more.

His best man is coming to stay tonight as he lectures at the university near our house once a week. I am very excited that Bob gets to play with his friend but.. oh my God, I'm going to explode. Surely it's madness to wait 29 hours before watching? We've been waiting 3 months and now I need my fix. I need it internet, I need it like an Addict. An Addict I tell you. Capital A.
How does one drown out the deafening anticipation in a situation like this? And is this type of hysteria normal when it comes to weddings and wedding paraphernalia? 
Because I'm pretty sure I would get like this over a packet of Jaffa Cakes.
Ooooh jaffa cakes......

I can't think clearly now, I'm daydreaming abut those bad boys *gestures upwards*

Right. I'm going to distract myself. So how are you? How's work going? I'm well thank you. Work is good but kicking my ass, hence my day off today. It's sort of a re-coup my energy 'because I keep overworking myself and getting tummy bugs that make my bum fall out' kind of day. Between work and bed rest, it's really starting to feel like there's no time to do anything any more. I suppose it's true what they say, when work is gong well your social life goes down the toilet. Unless you're an escort, in which case it's your job to be pretty sociable and go down in the toilet (Oh! I'm here all week).

Oh, crap. It's still staring at me. I want to watch iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
*head falls off*

But alas, I shall just have to sit tight and wait like the mature, responsible woman that I am.

I'll let you know how I get on.

My Life As An Imposter

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  1. I hope you got to watch it and that it is absolutely stunning! (and you got to see all the bits where everyone's having a blast and laughing at things!)

    Also, I live very; very; very far away from Jaffa Cakes and your post has unleashed a yearning I'm pretty sure can't be dealt with until maybe September! :(

    1. Oh no! I'm sorry you are jaffa cakeless :(
      I did get to watch it in the end and now I can't stop. I want to dive into wedding day land every 3 seconds.


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