My Life As A Private Person

Hello my dears, and how are we today?
Just as a quick aside, since writing my last post Babygate the other day, two more people have done the nudge nudge, wink wink, you're pregnant thing.


Anyhoo, today I'd like to talk about privacy. Twice in my life I have been approached by people wanting to make documentaries about interfaith relationships. The first was from Chanel 4 (a UK tv station) through an interfaith rabbi we approached when we were looking for an officiant for our wedding. The second, and more recent, was from a NY/LON production company interested in depicting the positive sides of interfaith marriage. They had come across my blog and wanted me to be part of the film.

Well, that's just a bit surreal and exciting isn't it? And, I'd be lying if I said that a small part of me wasn't feeling a bit like this:


And then maybe a bit like this:


Firstly, I am so pleased that there is an interest in creating a dialogue around interfaith marriage. It's also reassuring to see and hear from people that want to explore the positive sides rather than the dividing factors. I know, from planning our wedding, that there really aren't many encouraging discussions around Jewish Muslim marriages and I often receive emails from similar couples to us thanking me for putting something positive into the ether that doesn't make them feel like they will burn in hell for loving their partner.

Having said all of this, I am a fiercely private person and, as much as I am happy to talk about certain areas of my life via this blog, putting my face against it all on camera made me feel a little uneasy.


The producer, who approached me about the second documentary, asked me to go into further detail and explain why privacy was so important to me when it came to television / film, especially seeing as I am so vocal via the blog. I thought I would share my response:
On the issue of privacy, my husband and I are very fortunate in that, we have a great network of people around us and we have never been made to feel as though we are doing something wrong. I am very keen to protect this. I know that there are many people who aren't as progressive as we are and who do not take kindly to our union at all and I wouldn't like to open myself up to that publicly or be exposed to it in any way.
We are extremely open about our life in the circles we move in but my blog has always been anonymous, and has thusfar been the only platform through which I've shared our interfaith experiences with others. 
One of the reasons I started the blog was because I'd meet people who were so fascinated by our Jewish / Muslim marriage and how it worked and I was often bombarded with questions when making new acquaintances. In person, this makes me feel a little like a spectacle and I often deflect these questions, or try to be as brief as possible. But via the blog, and as My Life As An Imposter, I can talk more freely and openly about it because it's a platform I created, on my own terms, that can be used as a rather useful tool to address some of the curiosity.
To me, loving my partner and living our life together is completely ordinary, I wouldn't like to discuss it as a case study or exercise in race/faith relations because it is wholly personal to me, Mrs X. As My Life As An Imposter however, I am happy to discuss almost anything. 
Some of my dearest friends and close family don't even know about the blog, and probably never will; and it is this separation between my actual life and the social / cultural anthropological discussion around my life that I would like to keep in place. 
Maintaining a degree of anonymity is the most valuable commodity I have in order to achieve this, which is why it is so important to me. I hope this helps and hope that we can work around the privacy issue. Perhaps just a recorded interview with no image or a telephone interview? I am happy to discuss any ideas.
Talks kind of petered off after this. I think they were looking for someone they could meet and follow around their home and family "a day in the life style" and that was never going to be me.
As I say, it's not strictly an anonymous identity I'm trying to maintain, it's just not for the wider world I suppose. Bob and I don't see ourselves as a "biracial, interfaith couple"... we just see two idiots in love. So I suppose the idea of being a spokesperson for this exclusively makes me a little uneasy.. not to mention kind of shy.


But that being said, it was really rather lovely to be asked... surreal but lovely.
I still find myself getting surprised by every email or message I receive.. I suppose I got so used to the idea of this blog being a long exercise in monologuing it never occurred to me that people might actually want to interact with me. Although I have recently created a twitter and Facebook page for the blog, I don't really take them seriously. It's only actually in the last week or so that I've even shown them to some of my wider circle of friends. So, it astounds me when people still manage to find my obtuse little ramblings and get in touch.

You're all just a bunch of bloody lovelies aren't you?

Right, this is all getting a bit too touchy feely for me so, on that note, I shall leave you. Have a nice weekend my darlings; and do try to lap up all the sun you can.... British weather is cruel mistress and she does not take prisoners.


Much like Ripley from Aliens...



Now that's a woman.





3 comments

  1. 'Just two idiots in love' - I love that, and your decision to remain anonymous although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to learn more about you. I visit this space often as I'm trying to figure out my relationship with my own Bob and our future together, and I must say it's nice to see someone else happy. Cheers

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    Replies
    1. Why, thank you my dear, how nice of you to say.
      Sending lots of love and happy thoughts to you and your Bob xxx

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  2. Your response was perfect.

    But I would totally want to watch that show, haha.

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